My Love in Moon Rising
by Fredslover
Summary: Post HBP: Remus Lupin, still grief stricken from the recent loss of valuable Order members, is trying desperately to keep the Order standing in these hard times. Raeanne Cummings, whose new to the Order, has not yet discovered her value to the war...
1. New Arrival

A/N: This story is being written by myself, and ParisWriter. It is the edited versions of posts that started on an RP board, and thought would make a good story. The POV's switch from Raeanne's to Remus through out the whole story, so sorry in advance for any confusion, though I think it reads pretty well.

Heather (ParisWriter) is resposible for Raeanne, and I (Jess/Fredslover) have been given the great pleasure to write all of Remus.

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Raeanne Cummings walked along the dingy London streets, re-reading the letter in her hand. There was no signature, yet whoever had sent it seemed to know her.

Miss Cummings,

I am writing to inform you of the unfortunate news that Lord Voldemort has once again risen to power and is currently gathering his Death Eaters in preparation for the second war between the Light and Dark. Now that you are of age, I feel that it is time you are offered a position in the Order of the Phoenix, as your parents held before you. If you accept this offer, please report to Number 12 Grimmlaud Place, London, at your earliest convenence with this letter. If you do not wish to accept, then see to it that this letter is destroyed.

A Friend

Rae wondered what sort of "friend" sent a cryptic note about joining the group her parents had been working for when they were killed. It didn't matter, though... Of course she wanted in. She wanted to make those, those... people pay for what they did to her, and what they did to her parents.

She looked up from the letter to the line of houses before her, forwning.

"There is no number twelve!" she called out into the chilly night air, her breath coming out in a small puff of vapor.

Sighing deeply, she looked down at the piece of crumpled paper in her hand and shifted the oversized dufflebag on her shoulder so it didn't quite cut into her flesh so much. She was about to tear it to shreds and head back to New York when suddenly another house appeared between two others, as thought out of thin air.

"No way," Rae whispered, grinning at the sight. She walked up to the front door, spinning around about halfway down the walk as she marveled at the very large, very old, and very dilapidated house that was now between the two houses that had been right next door to one another just a moment before.

Reaching the door, she raised a hand and knocked sharply on the partially-rotted oak surface. Then she turned around and looked back up at the waning moon with a smile on her face as she waited.

Remus Lupin had been standing in the foyer, walking out of the kitchen, when he heard a knock come from the front of the house. It was fairly loud, and he stood still a moment, staring the red curtain hanging over that retched painting of Sirius's mother. No sound came from the beneath the curtain however, so he moved from his stiff position.

He raised a scar ridden eyebrow, wondering who in the world it could be. No one had said anything about coming at this time, nor had anyone mentioned any guests.

He made his way to the large door, making a sorry attempt to tame his chestnut hair, and dust off the old, raggity jacket he had just put on.

Sighing, and shaking his head, Remus grabbed hold of the ancient door handle, pulling it towards him.

Rae turned around as she heard the door opening behind her and grinned at the man standing before her. He was older, probably in his late thirties or early forties, with liht brown hair that was greying slightly at his temples and tired-looking hazel eyes. She raised an eyebrow as she took him in, some sort of inner instinct telling her that they had something in common.

"Hey," she said, nodding in greeting. "I'm here about joining the Order."

She handed him the letter, which was badly crumpled but still readable, and shifted the bag on her shoulder again as she crossed her arms over her chest and watched him carefully as he read the letter.

He really wasn't all that bad-looking. Maybe if he didn't look so tired, he would be what a lot of girls considered handsome. Sure, she saw the scars... but she blew them off. If her instincts were right, she knew exactly how he had gotten them in the first place.

Remus took the crumpled piece of parchment from the new arrival, unravling it the best he could. He recognized Albus' handwriting immediately, and after scanning it quickly, he nodded.

" ...Miss Cummings? Would you happen to have a first name? " He asked, folding up the heavily damaged parchment, and sticking into his chest pocket, making a mental note to burn it the first chance he got.

She watched him carefully fold the letter and place it in the breast pocket of his jacket, noting the weariness of the simple movements.

"It's Raeanne," she informed him. "Call me Rae."

They stood there for a moment in an awkward silence as he continued to evaluate her with a critical eye, and she found herself reaching up to run a hand back through her hair in a somewhat nervous fashion.

"So... Can I come in," she asked, "or should I make camp out here on the stoop?"

Remus hesitated for a moment, then, placing a hand on the small of her back, led her into Grimauld Place. She smiled up at him. So he was a gentleman? There were so few of them left nowadays... it was a nice departure from the jerks she usually dated.

"And what about you, handsome?" she asked him as he closed the door behind them. "Do you have a name?"

The question came out of nowhere, although, it wasn't unexpected. Well, at least the initial question wasn't...it was the handsome part that had caught him off gaurd.

" Remus Lupin, " He said, pretending to be unphased, something he had learned to do in the past years. " Moony...if your feeling particularly witty. "

He smiled, but only slightly, as he led her the rest of the way into the old house. It was times like these that he felt the smallest amount of shame, because the house, although they had done a decent job of cleaning it up, stilll looked a right mess. Not the most impressive surroundings for the head quaters of the Order, but, there were more important things going on here than cleaning.

" Oh, and if you wouldn't mind keeping your voice down, just while we're in the foyer...don't want to, er, disturb anything... " He warned, pointing to the red curtain.

"No problem, Remus."

Rae winked at him as she walked stealthily along the hallway, letting her wolfish instincts take over to assist her in the task of getting by whatever was behind that curtain without disturbing it.

She said it politely enough, there was absolutely nothing strange about the way those words had come out of her mouth...

Then why was it that he felt so off, like there was something that he wasn't understanding about this woman? It was like the answer was standing right in front of him, but he could see it. He felt like it was something obvious, something that he sould have immediately picked up on...but he wasn't.

"Nice place you guys got here," she commented without a single hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking... 'She's just being nice.' But man... You shoulda seen some of the crappy places I've lived. They make this place look like a palace."

" Yes, well, I suppose it's alright. " He respoded, mentally comparing it to the Shrieking Shack, a place he had called home for a night out of every month during his school years. Yes, compared to some places, this was a palace.

"So, what is it?" she whispered to him as they inched their way past it together. "Some sort of demon in a cage or something?"

Whatever it was, it definitely piqued her interest. Sort of like that nickname he had given her. Now she was almost positive he was a werewolf. She would wait until later to ask him, in private.

He smirked, eyeing the curtain warily.

" I wish...no, no actually it's a portrait. " He informed, realizing how stupid it seemed, to have to sneak past a portrait. But they'd regeret it if they didn't.

Rae stopped walking and looked at him with a disbelieving expression.

"You're kidding, right? The thing you're so scared of is a portrait? Why doesn't someone just take the stupid thing down?"

She backed up from him, placing her dufflebag on the floor. She took off her black leather jacket and tossed it onto the bag, revealing the black tank top she was wearing underneath that allowed her scars on her right shoulder and the tattoo around her left arm to show.

"Look... I'll do it for you right now. Save ya all the trouble and take it down myself."

Rae turned around and walked over to the curtain on the wall, reaching out to grip it so she could pull it free of the picture lying beneath.

" No! " Remus whispered harshly, grabbing hold of Rae's wrist, trying desperately to stop her from pulling the curtains apart.

Once his hand got held of her wrist however, his other arm had, unvoluntarily, flung out, hitting the portrait. He felt the hard surface of the painting beneath his hand, through the soft contor of the curtain.

" Close your ears... " He muttered, placing his free hand over one of his ears, and using his other hand to pull her away from where the now stirring painting hung.

The red curtains parted themselves, revealing the painting of the horrible mother of his best friend. He had only come to meet her once before, over summer break, James had been there as well of course, and that was an experience Remus had been quick to try and forget.

" BLOOD TRAITORS! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, I'LL NOT STAND FOR THIS! " Mrs. Black shouted, her aged face contorted in anger.

" Damn woman... " Remus muttered, referring to the bloody banshee bellowing on the wall.

" Damn woman... "

He muttered it under his breath and Rae twisted out of his grip, her mouth agape as she stared at him indignantly.

"Hey," she said shortly, picking up her things off the floor. "Maybe if you had told me it was an enchanted portrait, I wouldn't have gone near it in the first place. And I still don't see why no one has gotten rid of that damn thing!"

The last few words she shouted over the volume of the portrait's screams, throwing a nasty glare back at it.

" I was speaking about the portrait! Not you! " He yelled, giving Rae as much of an apologetic look as he could muster when that insufferable woman in the painting was screaming at the top of her lungs.

" ...HORRIBLE FOOLS! YOUR NO MORE THAN DIRT ON MY BOOT! " She continued, not letting up the slightest, as Remus grabbed hold of both sides of the curtain, pulling with all the strength he had left. His muscles ached as he strained them, drawing the curtain as far closed as the woman would allow them.

" Do you mind? " He asked, motioning with his head to the curtain, indicating to Rae that she should help him.

Rae dropped her stuff to the floor again and went over to his side, nodding at him as she reached him.

"Move over, sweetie, I got this," she told him as she placed a gentle hand on his arm and pushed him aside.

Raeanne grabbed the curtain with both hands, giving it a sharp tug back over the portrait. It wasn't nearly as easy as it looked to be... almost as if the portrait beneath was fighting back. It took her a second try, but she managed to get the curtain back in place. Thankfully, the screaming woman in the painting soon fell quiet.

"There," she said a bit breathlessly as she turned to Remus and pushed some of her hair back out of her eyes. "And I hardly broke a sweat."

Remus watched from the sidelines as Rae closed the curtain, only taking two short tugs. He would have blushed, had he not been so amused. he watched as she huffed, moving the hair from her face.

Rae looked him over and saw how tired he was and how weak he seemed. She took a few steps closer to him and decided to take a stab at what her intuition was telling her.

"Have a rough transformation with the last moon, Remus?" she asked, taking care to keep her voice low so as not to disturb the portrait behind the curtain again.

His eyes widened. How did she know? Had someone told her? It made him uncomfortable for certain people, especially ones that he didn't know, to have knowlage of that certain fact.

" What? How did you...who...? " He muttered, feeling flustered. She didn't have much time to answer, as the were now making their way into the drawing room, which was surprisingly crowded. 


	2. Settling In

Raeanne made her way upstairs with her bag over her shoulder, her leather jacket lying across the top of the partly-broken zipper of the overstuffed duffle. She hadn't had much time to pack, leaving as soon as she got the letter about coming to join the Order in London, and she had more or less tried to force her entire wardrobe into the biggest bag she could find - which happened to be an old Army dufflebag she had swiped from one of her ex-boyfriends.

It took her several tries, but she eventually found a vacant room on the second floor. With a small groan, she enterd the room, kicking the door shut behind her before dropping her bag on the floor with a muted thunk that caused a small amount of dust to stir from the floor where it had fallen. She looked around the room a bit, knowing full well that beggars can't be choosers.

Rae decided the cleaning could wait until morning. She hadn't slept in about forty-two hours and the bed, moth-eaten though the hangings around it were, looked awfully inviting. She didn't even care if there was some sort of creature living under it, or in it, for that matter. She was sleep-deprived and that put her in a much fouler mood than anything that might be living in the shadows around that bed.

Wincing, Remus made his way up the stairs. He hoped that in a few days, after he got some well needed rest, that the pain would ease up in his muscles. It made his job that much harder, having to deal with not only injuries from missions, but newer, mostly self-inflicted wounds of his own.

Because of the mysterious absense of Molly, the house was begining to look a tad bit dustier than usual, not that he was interested in cleaning it...it was just an observation.

He knew that Rae was in the guest room that she had been assigned to, and he wanted to make sure she was comfortable with the arrangement. That, and to talk to her about the comment she had made earlier.

He arrived at her door, then, not wanting to just barge in on her, knocked on it.

Inside the room, Rae coughed heavily,flopping back down onto the bed, more dust rising in a cloud around her from the covers as she fell on them. She coughed a bit, waving away the dust in front of her face, and heard a knocking at the door. With another groan, she raised up on her bent arms so she could see the doorway from her position on the bed.

"Come in!" she called, wondering who had come after her so soon after her arrival.

He heard her yell from behind the thin wood of the door. Grinning to himself, he took hold of the door handle and pushed it open.

The door opened and Rae beamed at the sight of the person standing on the other side. She sort of figured he would be the one to come after her. She hadn't gotten a chance to answer his questions earlier, and he looked like the sort of man who let things nag at him until he had the answers - like a scholar, or one of those research lab geeks.

She sat up on the bed, bringing one leg up and resting her head on her knee with her arms wrapped around her bent leg as the other leg remained straight out.

"Well, well... if it isn't Remus Lupin," she said in a pleasant voice, cocking her head slightly to the side as she looked up into his hazel eyes. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

The room that she was in was unfortunately one of the more neglected ones of the house, mostly because no one had stayed in it for many years. Its last occupant had been Sirius, and the thought of his best friend sitting in the small chair in the corner brought back all the familiar feelings of loss and guilt that always forced their way into his tired mind.

As he turned his attention to Rae however, he pushed all other thoughts out of his head, walking further into the room.

She noticed he was looking about the room in an odd way, and his eyes kept darting to a certain corner of the room where an old chair sat. She looked in the same direction and, seeing nothing there, shrugged a bit before turning back to him again.

He gave her a slight smile, then, looking for a place to sit, moved toward the only chair in the room. He came within inches of sitting himself in it, before changing his mind, and choosing the edge of the bed she was sitting on instead. After better than a year, the death of Sirius still haunted him, and that simple wooden chair was more than he could handle at the time.

" Just wanted to see if you were settling in alright...amongst other things. " He said, not mentioning the earlier comment she had issued.

Rae chuckled a bit, lying back on the bed with her arms bent and her hands tucked behind her head. He was tap-dancing around the issue. She could tell by the way he was suddenly refusing to look at her.

"I'm just peachy," she replied. "This room could use the touch of an entire hotel housekeeping staff, but beggars can't be choosers so I have no room to complain."

He chuckled quietly, nodding at her remark.

" Yes well, this was never the cleanest room of the house... " He said, remembering the absolute pig sty that it had been when Sirius had been residing in it. Molly had straightened it on occasion, but since she wasn't there, it was quite the mess.

A silence fell, and he couldn't help the discomfort that creeped its way into the room. He felt the question coming, it wouldn't be long now...

She thought she saw the slightest twitch of a smile on his face as he sat there on the end of her bed, but she couldn't be sure from her position because all she could see was his profile. He was even better looking from the side, a bit of his hair falling into his eyes as he sat there quietly in thought. A moment or two of silence stretched between them and Rae finally decided to break the tension.

She sighed softly, closing her eyes as she asked, "You want to know how I knew you're a werewolf, don't you?"

There it was, out in the open. He waited a moment, then nodded slowly.

" Yes actually, I would like to know... "

Rae opened her eyes and sat up, then crawled to the end of the bed to sit next to him with her legs tucked under her.

"First of all," she began, reaching up with a single hand to brush his hair back out of his face, "there's these." Her hand moved over his face, her fingertips lightly tracing the two scars that ran parallel to once another at a slight angle across his features. Her hand lingered a bit at his chin, and a smile crept over her face as she ran her thumb gently over the corner of his bottom lip before pulling away and letting her hand fall to rest on the bed between them.

Remus faught the impulse to pull away at Rae's fingers running across his scars. He'd never thought of himself as a self concious man, but then again, how many women had he really come in contact with that made him have to be? One of the scars ran over his eye, and he closed it as her finger ran across it. Opening it, he watched as she dropped her hand back beside her.

"It's rather unusual to find scars like those. Two of them, parallel to one another, and at an angle... almost as if from a wild animal slashing its claws across something. I've only seen scars like them a handful of times, all of them on individuals who had survived werewolf attacks."

He was finding it hard to speak, and wasn't exactly sure why. If he were to to guess, it would probably be that there was really nothing to say. Nothing she was saying needed to be corrected, it was all true.

"Then there was that nickname you told me in the hallway... Moony." She shook her head slightly, chuckling a bit. "If I've ever heard a more perfect nickname for a werewolf, I don't know what it is."

" Ah, the nickname, that was a gift from some friends of mine actually, but yes, due to my condition... " He stated, feeling as if he needed to give his old friends some credit.

She stopped laughing after a moment and her tone turned more serious, even though she was still smiling at him. "But I think I knew even before that what you are. It was like the wolf inside me could sense the wolf inside you. And so I had to ask you that question to see your reaction... So I would know if my instincts were right or not."

Her last few words echoed in Remus' mind. The wolf inside me? Did that mean...? And then it hit him. That was the feeling he had felt the first time he had met her. That was why he felt so oddly compelled to this woman. She was a werewolf...

" Well I'll be damned... " He muttered, not being able to control the profanity that had slipped out.

" I knew there was something...I just couldn't quite grasp it..."

Raeanne didn't say anything more to him. She simply moved so her back was to him and reached up with her left hand to pull aside her dark hair. Her right hand pulled down the straps of her tank top and bra to fully expose the two parallel scars across her shoulder.

"Look familiar?" she asked him, allowing him to look at them for a moment longer before replacing the straps and dropping her hair back into place.

He felt an intense impulse to reach out and touch the shiney scars than ran in the same familiar pattern as his own. He controlled it though, knowing that it may have made her uncomfortable, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Rae spun back around so they were face-to-face again and tucked her hair back behind her ears as she smiled at him.

"I thought I'd be running alone when the next full moon came," she said with a gleam in her eye. "I guess I lucked out in finding myself a companion as handsome as you."

There was that bloody word again. Handsome. She said it in a way that almost made him believe it. The truth was, he knew how he appeared, tired, broken, and that was only the way he carried himself. He didn't even like to think of his physical appearance...The scars had ruined any chance of him being what a woman as beautiful as Rae would think of as attractive...

" I think I'm the lucky one... " He said quitely.

She remembered he had been walking with a bit of a limp, and also thought about how tired he looked.

"Remus... Do you mind me asking how long it's been? What it's been like for you? I mean... if it's too personal you don't have to tell me. I just wanted to know because I'm still fairly new to all this and I only know what I've experienced so far and what others have told me."

The question made her look innocent for a moment, as if she'd let up a barier...only for a second though.

He thought about her question, and decided that it wasn't too personal. For any other person, maybe, but not for her. He felt that she deserved to be informed, to know everything she needed to.

" Well, it's been about...twenty-eight years, since I was bitten... " He started, realizing how old that made him sound. Although he didn't really find thirty-seven to be terribly old, it was certainly older that what Rae appeared to be.

Raeanne looked at him, her eyes squinting a bit as she examined him more closely. She had gagued his age somewhere around late thirties to early forties. But if it had been twenty-eight years since he was bitten...

"My god," she whispered out loud even as she thought it. "You were just a kid."

He nodded in agreement, the fact that he was only a child when it happened, was something that he often thought about. If it hadn't happened at such a young age, there would have been so many horrible things that he could have spared himself the pain of. It would have been a hell of a lot easier...

" Nine, to be exact... " He said, staring at the wall across from them, and noticing that there was a spider crawling up it. He watched as it made its way up the pale wall, disappearing into the speckled ceiling.

It had been bad enough going through the first few transformations as an adult, and she could only imagine what hell it must have been for him to have to endure it as a child. And, from the sounds of things, he hadn't had the same sort of support system she did back in New York.

"It's only been about seven years for me," she offered in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable about their discussion. "I was nineteen. I got into a fight with the wrong people at the wrong time of the month. One of the guys turned wolf and I got myself torn up and bit."

She paused for a moment, shaking her head at the memory of her own stupidity. If she really thought about it, though... she wasn't all that troubled about what had happened. She had been given a gift that night - an entirely new way of living and looking at the world around her.

"And now here I am," she concluded, shrugging her shoulders a bit.

He turned back to her, remembering the other part of her question.

" I had been playing in the woods in the back of my house, with a few friends, " He started, surprised at how fresh the memory was. He was remembering facts from decades ago, as if they had been the day before.

" Long story short...it got dark, and we got terribly lost. The werewolf came out of nowhere...and the only thing the three of us could do was run... " He stopped, to pay attention to the memory that was rolling through his head. He saw the trees flashing past him as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. His friends had been close ahead, and they were yelling for him to hurry up...

" I tripped...over a root, and fell. " He said the last part quietly, averting his eyes from the wall and finally facing her again.

" The only thing I remember after that is pain, and that god foresaken howl... " He said, smirking at the irony that the same howl that had came with becoming a werewolf, was the same one that he found himself issuing on the nights of his transformations. In reality, it wasn't funny at all, so he quieted himself, settling for glancing down at his hands. He sighed heavily, as emotionaly draining as reliving that night was, it felt good to tell someone about it...

Nine... He had been a full ten years younger than her when he received the bite. His account of how it happened was enough to give her chills down her spine and she found herself moving a bit closer to him instinctively, as though just being closer to him might offer him some sort of comfort.

He had felt her move closer, and hadn't said a word. It was actually nice to have someone to talk to about these sorts of things.

"I used to go around with a pretty rough crowd when I was younger," she continued, figuring a more detailed account of her own rebirth was in order. "We stole cars, street raced, got into huge fights at clubs and bars... It was one fight in particular that did me in, though."

She sighed a bit, closing her eyes as it all washed over her. She could still see the alley behind the bar in her mind, the way the moonlight had washed over everything, and then...

"I actually saw the guy transform right in front of my eyes. At the time, it was the most horrifying thing I had ever witnessed. Pretty much everyone else bolted, but I was frozen to the spot. I... I don't remember much of what happened after that. I heard the howl and I closed my eyes, thinking it would leave me alone if I just stood still enough. Man, was I ever wrong..."

As she told her own story, he listened closely, trying to imagine what it must have been like.

Her eyes opened again and she turned to head to look into his hazel eyes, which somehow seemed a bit less tired since he had told her his story. As though some sort of a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

"I got thrown into the wall and blacked out. Next thing I remember I'm waking up in the hospital and some guy I've never seen in my life is telling me about how I was attacked by a werewolf and that Kevin - that was the werewolf who had attacked me - had been put down because he disobeyed the rules of the pack. Once the docs gave me the green light to go, I went with him to a safehouse for people like us."

" A safehouse, for werewolves? " The thought almost made him laugh. Not that it was particularly funny, but the thought of a large house, filled with people like him, all of them transforming at once...it was a bit amusing. But the more he thought about it, the more he began to like the idea. Thinking about how hard it was to grow up in a house, with his parents fully aware of what happened every month, and knowing that they were terrified of thier son, and what he was capable of...

There hadn't even been a Wolfsbane potion the first decade that he had had it. The only real solution to a transformation, was to lock yourself in a room, one in which there weren't any valuable or breakable things. And thats exactly what his parents had done...they built a shed in their backyard...

She smiled a bit, remembering her first days there. She had been in complete denial that she was a werewolf, or that she was even attacked by one. She kept trying to tell herself that someone had slipped something into her drink and she had hallucinated the whole thing.

"His name was Daniel. And he taught me everything I know about what we are."

Remus scoffed.

" I wish I had had someone to guide me through those first transformations... "

Rae reached out for his hand, hesitating only a moment before she took it in hers and gave it a small squeeze. Her other hand reached up again to run through his hair gently as she moved closer still to him.

"Those first few times were still hard," she whispered, the pain she recalled reflected in the tone of her voice. "Especially the very first time - I felt like I was going to die... I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for you. A child, alone, with no one to guide you."

As she spoke, he felt her grab one of his hands, squeezing it gently. He looked down at them, noticing how unfamiliar it appeared. It had been awhile since anyone had done anything like that, out of nowhere, just for him.

She thought about how surprised he had seemed to been when he found out she was a werewolf... almost as though he'd never come into contact with another one in his life.

"Remus," she started, deciding to ask the question as carefully as possible so as not to upset him. "Have you always been alone for the full moon?"

And then, with that question, all thoughts of his transformations were gone, and replaced by the three faces of his bestfriends. The Hogwarts castle was looming in the short distance, and the Womping Willow was swaying ahead of him. He watched as he entered below the tree, Peter, James, and Sirius close behind.

" No, not always, " He said, still remembering. It had been Sirius' idea...for the other three to become animagi...All of them had thought that he was crazy, all of them but James, of course. In the end, Remus had given in, knowing good and well that once Padfoot got a thought in his thick head, it was damn near impossible to get it out.

" I had friends, three of them actually. " Feeling grateful even now for what they had done for him.

" They, um, they became illegal Animagi...to be with me when...it happened. " He whispered, recalling the look on their young faces as they watched him transform for the first time. Peter had almost ran...but the other two didn't say a word. He had loved them, they truely had been the brothers he had never had...

" That was when I attended Hogwarts... " He added as an after thought. He then realized that he was thinking a lot of the story, but not telling enough of it out loud.

" I apologize for being so vague...it's just sort of...difficult... "

There it was. He hadn't been always been alone when he transformed, but he had never had a pack to run with, either. She had no doubt in her mind that his friends cared for him and looked after him on those nights, but he had never had anyone to guide him... to show him how magnificent and wonderful a creature he could be - both in his transformed state and human form.

"That explains a lot," she thought out loud, her eyebrows raising slightly. A confused look passed over his face at her outburst and she smiled at him, laughing a bit as she shook her head.

"Sorry, I tend to think out loud a lot," she told him, retracing one of his scars with her fingertips. "What I mean to say is that even though you had companions during your transformations, you were still more or less alone. None of them were werewolves, so really you've never had anyone to... identify with on those nights. No one who could show you the ways of the beast."

Her smile grew even brighter as she finally closed what little space was left on the bed between them, taking his face in both her hands as her eyes searched his.

"I could teach you so much, Remus," she said. "You don't have to be afraid or ashamed of what you are. It's not a disease or a curse. It's a gift. All you have to do is be willing to embrace it and you can be stronger, happier, and better than you ever imagined possible. If you'll let me... I can show you the way."

Stronger, happier, and better were not words that Remus usually used to describe being a werewolf. Words such as agony, distrust, and violent seemed to fit better. But Rae made him feel the slightest bit different. The way she carried herself, it looked as if she didn't have something like being a werewolf to worry about, when in reality, the full moon had been only a few days ago...she showed no sign of it as he often did. Although, he had been enduring it far much longer than she had, he still admired her.

" I'm sure you could, " He said, relishing the feeling of her hands on the sides of his face. He felt truely happy, which was an odd occurance giving the current situation, and everything that had led up to it. " Truth be told, I want you to... " He said, making the first real move he had the whole time he'd been there. He brought his hand up to where her's rested on his face, covering one of them gently.

The action caused her to stiffen automatically. It was such a simple gesture, and yet so much more intimate than she was used to. Rae never let herself get too close to anyone... Getting close led to becoming emotionally involved, and becoming emotionally involved inevitably led to being hurt. She'd had more than enough hurt to last her a lifetime.

She wanted to pull away from him, but she knew that if she did he would probably just shut down himself. Right now he was being open with her - probably moreso than he was normally with others - and she didn't want to erase all the progress she felt she had made with him in such a short spanse of time.

He had felt her tense slightly at his touch, but waited a moment, before taking his hand down, placing it on his lap. Normally he would be feeling akward right about now, his head would be swarming with thoughts, making him want to get out. But those weren't his feelings at all, and he was curious as to why.

"Remus," she said, her voice coming out a bit breathier than she had intended. "It would be an honor to teach you what you were never given the chance to learn. But I feel like I should warn you..."

Oh, lord... here we go, she though. I'm giving the same damn speech Daniel gave me.

And here it was, the heavily thought out speach on why they couldn't get involved. That their relationship, as much as she "wanted" it to exist, could not. And that it was nothing that he had done. He knew he shouldn't have put himself out there, it had been too long...

"If you're willing to learn, that's great. But things might be a bit... intense. At least at first. You might feel a slight bit different from your normal self, at least until you have a handle on things."

Well, he thought, letting out a sigh of relief, that he hoped wasn't noticable, Thats certainly not what I had expected...

" I think I'll be able to handle it... " He said quite confidently. He had indured more horrible situations and battles than he dared to count, and his transformations had never been easy. He moved his eyes so that he was staring straight into Rae's, hoping that she understood.

His eyes met hers and Rae felt her breath catch in her throat. Which wasn't good. Or was it? She had met plenty of other male werewolves in the past few years, and none of them seemed to have the same effect on her as he did. Maybe, just maybe... he was the one she had been searching for.

She saw something more than the confidence in his eyes, though. She also saw pain, anguish, and enough loss to last the man several lifetimes. It touched something deep inside her and she reached out to take the hand that had been on hers into her own, her opposite hand still framing the side of his face.

"Remus," she whispered his name and her eyes fell closed for a moment. She could sense everything about him - the beating of his heart reverberated in her mind even as the soft sounds of his breathing filled her ears. She could feel the heat emanating from his body, and the scent of him tickled her senses and when she opened her eyes to look into his once more she could see every single different fleck of color in their irises.

He heard his name being called probably a good fifty times a day, but it had never sounded quite like that before. It was then that she closed her eyes, and at some point, he had done the same. It was the oddest, yet one of the most extremely surreal feelings he had ever felt...

It was as if all of his senses were on particularly high alert. Every smell, every touch...every sound.

And then he realized something painfully obvious...he had felt like this before, a night out of every month he felt like this. It was the same hightened senses that he had in his wolf form...yet he wasn't transforming...

Seconds later she opened her eyes, shortly after he had opened his own. She was staring at him, and it was hard to read what was going on inside her, so he didn't try.

"What do you know about werewolves?" she asked him simply. "Besides what you have learned from your own experiences."

" Only what I've read in the books...but, aside from what I've experienced, how much more can there be...? " He asked breathlessly. It was hard to believe that all these years of pain and fear, of thinking that he finally had it under control...that there was more to this than that...

Raeanne smiled at him as his reply came out in the same sort of breathless whisper as her question. He had felt it, too. He could probably feel it right now. It made her giddy knowing that he was experiencing it, too.

"You can feel it, can't you?" she asked him, her hand moving from the side of his face, down his neck to finally rest on his chest. "Your senses are suddenly sharper... the beast inside you is calling to come out. It has urges... needs that need to be met."

He nodded quietly, feeling the warmth of her palm through the thin material of his white botton up shirt. He listened as she spoke about the beast inside of him having needs that had to be met. The thought frightened him, as it always did. Frightened him, but didn't faze him.

Rae could feel her own heart racing as she mentioned the needs of the beast. She knew very well what those needs were, and one of them in particular was starting to take over her being in a way she was only ale to control for so long. Remus didn't have a clue how much his presence was affecting her. She needed to end this conversation as quickly as possible and get him out of her room before the instincts of the wolf inside her took over.

He noticed that her breathing had quickened, and could tell that something was happening, and it was terribly familiar...

" Rae...? " He asked, louder than the rest of their conversation had been.

Raeanne stood up from the bed and started pacing the room in front of him like an animal in a cage, her feet kicking up little clouds of dust from the floor as she walked.

"Remus, I think you should go for now," she told him. "I promise I'll explain everything to you in the morning. But right now if you don't leave things could get totally out of hand and something might happen that we'll both regret."

He looked at her, worry clouding his common sense.

" Regret...? Rae, what are you talking about? " He questioned her, wanting to grab her, so she'd stop her pacing. She stopped on her own though, wringing her hands in a nervous fashion, that, or an eager one...he was too distraught to tell the difference at this point.

She turned to look at him, her breathing more shallow still than before.

"Please, Remus," she pleaded with him, wringing her hands in front of her to keep from reaching out for him. "Go. Come back in the morning, and I promise I'll explain. I'll tell you everything you need to know."

" Alright... " He uttered, knowing that this was obviously something having to do with her being a werewolf, and he understood the privacy part. Although this seemed a bit more complicated than that.

He made his way to the door, pulling it open, and stepping into the cool hallway of the second floor. He looked at her again, holding it for a few seconds, before closing the door softly.

Feeling a bit dazed, and more than a little confused, Remus walked over to the staircase, passing the mounted heads of the Blacks' past house elves...completely ignoring the dulling pain in his leg. Raeanne Cummings certainly was an interesting and very intriging woman, not to mention beautiful...couldn't forget that part.

Scratching his head involuntarily, he arrived in the foyer of Grimmauld Place, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. 


	3. Conversation over Coffee

Yawning widely, Remus made his way groggily into the kitchen, collasping into the wooden chair that was sitting close to the table in the middle of the room. The shower that he had just stepped out of had not completed it's job of waking him up.

Groaning inwardly, he noticed that there was no coffee or tea on the stove. He tucked his right hand into his pant pocket, pulling out his wand. He muttered a few choice words and in a few seconds there was a pot with steaming water on the stove, ready to be made into coffee, which is just what he did.

He knew why he was awake, it was the same reason that had kept him up the night before. Rae.

He couldn't stop thinking about the talk they had had the night before, and the way he had left so abruptly. It was clear that he would be thinking about her for a while, seeing as how they had so many things in common...

The house was very quiet, killing his hope that maybe she was waking up as well. He finally dragged himself up to actually fix himself a cup of black coffee, shivering as the water from his hair dripped down his back.

Rae had only gotten about three hours of sleep the previousnight. Then, what little sleep she did have was haunted by dreams of one person in particular... Remus Lupin.

It was insane to even think that he could posibly be the one. They had only just met, for goodness sake. You did not find your life mate after a few minutes of conversation with someone. But she remembered the pull between them. There was most certainly something there.

She had showered hastily, a very cold shower to help drive away the images from her dreams, then dressed in black jeans and a white tank top before heading downstairs, still barefoot. Her dark brown hair was still a bit damp and curly from the shower, but she didn't care. She crept noiselessly through the house, not wanting to wake up any of the other occupants or that bloody woman in the painting that hung in the main hallway on the first floor.

When she got to the kitchen, she froze. Remus was already there, and he looked to be fixing himself some coffee. His hair was still wet from his own shower and she watched as a few droplets of water fell from the slightlypeppered brown locks onto the back of his shirt and he shivered a bit.

Rae bit her lip and took a few steps into the kitchen behind him, still moving without making a sound. He seemed to sense her, however, and turned around to face her as she took her third step toward him.

Remus had just finished pouring the hot steaming liquid into his mug, when he felt, rather than heard, company enter the kitchen. Taking his coffee in one hand, he turned around.

Rae stood there, looking - if possible -more beautiful than the night before, with her hair damp and curly from the obvious shower she had taken. He felt the smallest amount of relief at the fact that she seemed to be alright. He had been worried, there was no use doubting that.

"Good morning," she said to him in a whisper, smiling tiredly at him.

His own lips curled into a smile, and he moved his way closer to her.

" Are you alright...? " He asked, placing his mug on the top of the table, and giving her his full attention.

Rae looked at him a bit curiously, not quite sure the reason for his concern. Then she remembered how abruptly she had ordered him to leave her alone the previous night.

"I'm fine," she assured him as she lowered herself into one of the seats at the table. She looked up at him and nodded. "Really, I am."

Remus took a seat as well bringing his coffee to his mouth, and taking a large swallow. He was glad to hear that she was alright, but the curiousity of what she obviously wanted to share with him was stronger.

And she hadn't forgotten her promise to explain everything to him, either. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, bracing herself for the conversation she knew they need to have.

"Remus, do you remember what I said last night about needs and urges?"

He nodded, remembering perfectly well, and also remembering wondering what she was talking about. He knew about the initial urges of a werewolf, or at least ones that weren't under the control of a potion. To kill, or convert...those had been the only urges he had felt on the few occasions he neglected his potion taking.

" I do. " He said simply, motioning her to go on.

Rae wished she had a bottle of gin in front of her. She needed a nice stiff drink to help her get through this conversation in one piece. Unfortunately, the coffee he had made seemed to be the only thing available. So she opted for that.

"Consider this your first lesson in the ways of the wolf," she told him as she got up and went to make herself a cup of coffee. Usually, she would have poured enough cream and sugar in it to make it taste like melted coffee ice cream, but she opted to leave it black - partly due to her lack of sleep, and partly due to the nature of the conversation they were about to have.

Remus smirked, it was strange having someone who had been a werewolf not even half the time that he had, attempting to teach him things about his condition. He followed her with his eyes as she got up from the table and fixed herself some coffee.

She waited until she was settled back in her chair at the table before going on. "Werewolves are not that much unlike natural wolves," she stated, wrapping both of her hands around the mug she held. "They have the same instincts... the same basic urges. The most powerful of those urges are to hunt, to kill, and to mate."

Rae paused at that, looking over at him. She wondered if this conversation might be a bit too uncomfortable for him to handle. If he didn't want to continue talking about it, she was giving him an opportunity to change the subject now while he still could.

He knew this already, but didn't say a word. He still felt like there was something she knew that he didn't, and he could tell that she would tell him, and soon.

" Go on... " He said smiling at her. " I'm a big boy, I can handle it, promise. "

Rae took a long sip from her coffee, making a slightly disgusted face at the bitter taste of it, before she continued.

"Werewolves are also like natural wolves in that they mate for life, Remus."

She paused again, this time trying to collect her thoughts and put them into words and phrases that would be easily understood.

"After several years of being a werewolf... the beast starts to crave a mate. It's like the concept of soul mates. Every werewolf has one lifemate in the world - his or her match. Some never find that match, and they spend years searching while the beast slowly yet surely takes over their being and corrupts it. It's like cutting off the oxygen supply... a werewolf needs his or her mate in order to survive."

A life partner...

That was a strong usage of words, and Remus thought back to as far as he could remember. He'd never been the sort of man to go after every girl he saw, no, that had been Sirius' role when he had attended Hogwarts. All of Remus' relationships had meant something, and he had had every intension of holding the partnership, most of them had ended on the woman's terms of course. There had been a few, where she had found out the nature of his condition and had called the relationship off.

This made him wonder. All the times he had looked for the perfect woman to perhaps start something with... Had he been looking for his life partner? And not even being aware of it? But then again, wasn't that what someone was always looking for? Someone that they could finally be happy with?

She put a hand to her head as she brought up her cup of coffee and took another drink before continuing.

"The bond between an Ulfric and a Lupa is extremely strong. Some say it's stronger than blood. Once they find one another, their own strength and power grows because of the bond between them."

Strength and power...two words that could mean a great number of things, depending on the situation. He was about to think about what situations Rae was talking about when he realized she said two words that he didn't quite reconize...

" Ulfric and Lupa? " He asked, drinking from his mug.

Rae gave him an apologetic smile for having used technical terms she forgot he probably didn't know. "Ulfric and Lupa are the technical terms for the alpha male and femle of any given pack of werewolves. But, in a broader sense, the terms also mean the male and female werewolf of a mated pair."

She blushed a bit and took another long sip of her coffee before continuing.

"The way an Ulfric and a Lupa confirm their union is through the actual act of mating itself, in their human forms. My beast started craving its mate about a year ago and since then I have been auditioning potential Ulfrics. None of them has even so much as piqued my interest. But last night..."

This is what he had wanted to know more about: The life partners she had mentioned before. This was what she knew about that he didn't. As he listened to her speak, thoughts of the night before fashed before him. Those feelings hadn't been a normal accurance for him, in fact, he'd never felt them that strongly out of his wolf form before.

She sighed softly as she remembered that one moment they had shared together in her room, where his beast had seemed to feed off hers, causing his senses to increase in their strength as her did. "Remus, there was something there last night that I have never felt before," she told him quietly, shaking her head slightly.

She was implying something, and he knew what it was. He didn't dare think it, for fear that he'd be wrong, but he did speak up.

" What exactly are you suggesting? " He asked, needing to hear it out loud.

Rae took another deep breath and let it out all at once in a heavy sigh. She wasn't even sure how to explain what she had felt with him the previous night. They really didn't even know each other.

"Daniel told me that when an Ulfric and his Lupa meet for the first time, the wolf inside each of them will recognize one another."

She looked up at him and waited for him to face her so she could look him in the eye before contnuing. When he finally did meet her eyes, she felt her heart start to race again. It was like a part of her had known him her entire life and wanted him just as long.

"Your beast started to come out last night, Remus," she reminded him. "It started to come out simply because mine was reaching out as well. If you didn't leave when I asked you to..."

Rae broke the eye contact between them for a moment to close her eyes and shake her head in disbelief. She didn't know how it was possible, but she knew the urges she had felt the previous night were very strong. Stronger than they had been in a very long time. The thought that the beast within him had showed itself last night, and that he hadn't had very much control over it was a little unnerving. He remembered the look on her face as she had asked him to leave, it had been pleading, and...possibly desire. Her eyes opened again and she leaned toward him, placing her hand on the table near his but not quite touching him, in case she frightened him with what she was about to say. He waited in baited breath .

"If you didn't leave me alone last night, Remus," she found herself whispering to him, sighing again slightly. "I very well might have made myself your Lupa. And it wouldn't have been fair to you because you wouldn't have had a choice after that but to remain with me until one of us died."

" ...I'd have no choice...? " He breathed, wondering how that would have felt. To have no say in the matter.

Rae looked away from him, unable to meet his eyes. She didn't want to think about what might have happened if he hadn't left when she asked him to.

"Yes, Remus... Once an Ulfriec and his Lupa are mated, they are bound for life. Hence the term, 'life mate.' The bond between them is so strong that they can often feel what the other is feeling no matter how far apart they are. They can feel each other's joy, each other's pain... everything. It's that strong a bond, Remus."

She finally looked at him again and held his eyes a moment longer than she had before, her hand inching closer to his until they were just touching enough that she could feel the warmth of his skin radiating onto her own.

Remus took a deep breath, looking away from her for a second. This was a lot to take in, not to mention the fact that he couldn't believe that he hadn't known about all of this before now.

If Rae was implying what he thought she was, then she was giving him the option to becoming her Ulfric, and vise versa. It was all slightly over welming, and as he looked back at her, he closed the gap between their hands, taking hers in his own lightly. The simple gesture made her blood rush and her heart race. She cursed herself for how easily he seemed to be affecting her. The longing returned, but this time she new it would be there and she was better able to keep it under control.

"That's why I made you leave last night. Choosing your Lupa should be your decision. It's not something you should take lightly, either."

" Well...I'm glad you asked me to leave... " He admited, looking at her greatfully. " You're right...it's a big decision... "

Rae turned her head and looked at him, lacing her fingers through his as she reached up with her free hand to brush some of the damp hair back from his face. Her eyes fell closed for a moment and she licked her lips as she opened them again.

"Remus, when I said things were going to get intense while I was teaching you about the beast, I meant that... well... things are going to become... very..."

She was panting as she talked. Dammit, she was panting. She needed to get a handle on things, on herself.

He tightened his grip on her hand as he struggled with the statement...he had a strange feeling that he knew what was coming, and why it was hard for her to say. She was breathing heavily, and it was obviously the same thing that had been about to happen the night before, but she seemed to be controling it

"Things are going to become a bit intense on a sexual level," she blurted out all at once. "There's going to be a lot of sexual tension between us at some points, especially once you begin to really embrace the wolf that lives inside you."

He stopped the smile that had threatened to show itself at her last statement. Not that anything she was saying was amusing, it was just such a blunt idea. That the beast inside the both of them would highten their sexual levels...and create sexual tension between the two of them. He would have admitted the fact that he probably wouldn't need the help of the wolf within him to feel the tension that existed when it came to Rae, but her actions stopped him from doing so.

She had moved her hand from side of his face, sliding her fingers to his lips. The simple action had an incredible response from deep within him. He let out a breath, and almost forgot to inhale as she left them there, then, just as suddenly as they had touched them, her fingers left his lips and he watched as she tilted her head down. Her face was covered in her damp hair, making it impossible to see her face.

Her eyes fell on his lips and a small sigh escaped her throat. She wanted to kiss him. Just one kiss... What would it hurt?.

"I'm sorry, Remus... I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It's just hard for me, you know. Being here, so close to you."

" I know the feeling... " He muttered, mostly to himself, but then realised that he had in fact said it loud enough for her to hear.

Rae's head snapped back up and she looked at him through her curtain of dark, damp hair. He knew the feeling? Then did that mean he wanted to...

" I mean, don't be sorry about anything. There's no reason to be. " He finished lamely, feeling what he knew was a blush creep up his neck, something he hadn't done since his years at Hogwarts

Rae smiled at him as she reached up and pushed her hair back out of her face, then slid closer to him until she was sitting on the very edge of her chair.

"Has anyone ever told you how incredibly adorable you are when you blush?" she asked him in a quiet, breathless voice. "Not that you're not adorable when you aren't blushing. It just makes you all that much more adorable."

As he finally gained control of his rather embarassing act of blushing. He shook his head, letting out a quiet laugh.

" No, I can't say that they have... " He muttered, fighting the blush that was threating to come back. All of his instincts told him to kiss her, and Merlin's beard did he want to...so what was stopping him?

She reached up and she stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand then let it travel lower, down his neck. Her hand turned over when she reached his chest, her fingers trailing down the line of buttons on the front of his shirt.

"Remus," she said his name with a hint of longing in the tone of her voice. She spoke his name, and he shuddered unvoluntarily. She bit her bottom lip nervously and looked up into his eyes as her hand continued to linger on his chest.

"When was the last time you were properly kissed?" she asked him. She really wanted to ask a more... intimate qustion, but she kept it to herself in favor of something much safer and more innocent. Kissing was fine. Kissing didn't get you hurt.

Rae somehow always mangaged to ruffle Remus' feathers, and always in ways that he never would have guessed or expected. Her question was innocent enough, and wasn't too personal, so although he was again feeling rather embbarrassed, there was nothing left to do but answer her.

" Well, as I'm sure you can imagine, the first thing a woman wants to do to a werewolf... isn't kissing him. " He admitted.

Rae smiled at him as she leaned forward, putting her face within inches of his.

"You didn't answer my question," she whispered. Her eyes fell closed and she leaned slightly to the side, placing her head on his shoulder to nuzzle his neck, her lips barely brushing against the pulse beating just beneath his skin. He fought with all his strength not to lose control of himself. He knew he hadn't answered her fully, because part of him didn't want to. It had been a far too long since the last time he had truly kissed a woman...

"How long has it been, Remus?" she asked again as she pulled away just enough to move her head into an upright position once more. Her eyes fluttered open momentarily and she smiled as she looked at him before letting her eyelids fall closed again.

" Years... " He whispered, bringing his hand to her back. He was loosing control... he could feel it. His breath quickened as he felt her grasping the front if his shirt.

"Tell me to stop, and I will," she said even quieter still, in a very intimate tone of voice, as she brought her lips to his. She brushed her lips over his own in a light kiss - just enough to make the barest amount of contact but not enough to be called a real kiss.

He had barely had the time to react to her lips on top of his own, but from the feeling the quick kiss caused from its short time span...he knew that this is what he wanted.

"Remus," she said his name again in that intimate whisper, the hand on his chest curling up to grip the front of his shirt as she waited for him to do something. She expected he would probably pull away, butshe hoped to whatever god there was that he didn't.

The hand that he had placed on her back, pressed her closer to him and, surprising even himself, he leaned in, pressing his lips firmly onto hers, feeling incredibly alive.

Rae smiled as he kissed her and she returned the kiss, her hands burrying themselves in his hair as her lips grasped hungrily at his. She groaned softly in the back of her throat as she caught his bottom lip between her teeth, nipping at it gently before sucking on it a bit.

"Remus," she whispered his name again as their lips momentarily parted. The single word was full of everything she felt - the longing, the desire, the need... It was only lust, she knew. But it felt too right, somehow.

He felt almost foolish at the effect it had on him when she whispered his name again. But there had been something about the way she had said it, and he felt that the effect was wanted.

She brought her mouth back to his and kissed him again, this time daring to delve deeper into his mouth. He kissed her back, feeling the years of neglected urges of not only his wolf half, but him as a man as well. The minute their tongues met it was like someone had poured hot, molten lava into her bloodstream. The kiss took on a frenzied quality that left her completely breathless even as she continued to kiss him. His hand wandered the rest of her back, finally resting on the back of her slender neck. He said nothing, as they continued to kiss, but his mind was literally racing. There was something much more than lust going on here...

After several minutes they finally parted, leaving both of them gasping for breath. Rae stayed close to him, their foreheads touching as her eyes remained closed and she concentrated on calming the incessant hammering of her heart. They both pulled away from each other and stared into each other's eyes. He looked for a sign of doubt, or even discomfort, but didn't see any. She didn't know what to say to him. She wanted to apologize for the way she had kissed him, but she didn't feel any shame in it. It had felt far too good to her to warrant an apology, in her opinion. She just hoped it had been that way for him, too.

She didn't say anything, but continused to stare at him, as if expecting him to say something.

" What is it? " He asked breathlesly, taking a lock of her curly brown hair and feeling the moisture rubbing off onto his fingers.

She shivered a bit as he touched her hair. It was only a lock of hair between his fingers, but it sent a jolt of electricity through her body. There were so many things she wanted to say that she couldn't settle on any one of them, because half of them didn't make any sense.

Instinct wanted her to tell him she needed him. Reason wanted her to say she was sorry for being so forward. And some completely irrational part of her brain wanted to tell him she loved him for some reason that was far beyond her comprehension.

You do not love him, she reminded herself. You only just met him. You can't possibly love him. Besides, love is for fools who wind up with their hearts broken and their lives shattered to pieces.

She was quiet for a long while, giving Remus too much time to think to himself. What did the silence mean? His brain was telling him that it obviously meant that she needed to think about what had just happened, because they had just met... and this wasn't something you did with someone you had just met the previous day. But that part of him, the same one that had pushed him that last little inch to kiss her, was saying that she felt something for him, and that if he didn't see it, then he was fool.

Rae took a deep breath and sighed a bit before answering his question. "I was just thinking how incredibly nice that was. It was just so... intense and passionate, and yet still tender and... loving."

There was that damn word again. Or at least some form of it, anyway. Loving. She cursed herself even as she said it. He was bound to think her crazy now. There went any chance she might have had at him even thinking about him clamining her for his Lupa.

Loving, that was word that he was pretty sure they hadn't brought up yet. He asked himself if it was true. Was it posible to love someone that you had only just met? He knew the answer. Yes, you could...but is that what he was feeling? It had been so long since he had needed to question his feelings for a woman to this extent, and he asn't sure what to make of it.

" Yes, " He said quietly. " It was... " There, that wasn't really saying the 'L' word. It bought him some time, allowing him to think. He knew that there was something there, between the two of them, and that whatever it was it was strong... and they both felt it. But what it was... He couldn't say.

Those three words gave her more courage to put herself and her heart on the line than anything else anyone had ever said to her in the past sixteen years. Usually she kept her emotions extremely guarded, but with him she didn't feel a need to keep her usual defensive walls around herself.

"Remus," she started, pausing momentarily to lick her lips and she decided the best way to put what was on her mind. She didn't know what was coming over her, but she had a feeling of what it might be.

"I'm not saying you need to decide now. Like I said, it's not a decision you should make hastily or take lightly..."

He nodded his head slowly, she was right. If he understood correctly, choosing his Lupa needed to be a very thought out decision. Choosing one person to be with for the rest of his or her life was intimidating, but he knew that in reality, how many female werewolves did he actually know, and was willing live the rest of his life with

Rae hesitated. She knew in her heart he was the right one. That was why she felt such a strong attraction to him. The wolf in her had recognized the wolf in him easily because they were a match. And when they had kissed... The way it made her feel only further drove that point home. When they kissed she had felt so alive. She could feel the power between them wanting to merge. But she was still afraid he would reject her.

"Remus," she started again, this time a bit more confident than the last. "I would consider it a great honor if you would, in the future, possibly consider me as a potential candidate for your Lupa."

Remus' heart was pumping fast in his chest, and he was sure that the whole world could hear it, he knew he could. It was pounding loudly in his ears, but he had heard Rae perfectly clear. She wanted to be his Lupa, which meant that, unlike himself, she was sure of her feelings, and the fact that it would mean that she would be spending the rest of her life with him. There were actual butterflies trapped inside his stomach at this point, and he felt as if he couldn't get a proper thought to process correctly if he tried, but he knew that he couldn't just leave her in silence after what she'd just proposed.

" It would be an even greater honor to be your Ulfric...I just...I need to think, this has all happened so suddenly... " He whispered, glancing down at his last words. He didn't want her to think that this wasn't what he wanted, because there was a very good chance that it was. He just didn't know this for himself yet, and didn't want to tell her something that in the end, wasn't true.

" Do you understand? " He asked softly, smiling only slightly, trying to reassure her.

Rae sighed heavily and stood up, going over to the stove where she finally turned back to face him.

"I understand completely, Remus," she told him. "You're not ready to make the decision yet. I'm just letting you know that when you are ready to make that choice, I would like to be considered for the position."

He gave a sigh of relief at her words, he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings in anyway, and was glad that he hadn't. She seemed to know exactly how he was thinking, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel at this, but he knew that it didn't bother him at all. Which was weird in and of itself, because he usually liked having his thoughts to himself, feeling that they were all he really had that was all his, and no one elses. Those feelings didn't apply to Rae.

" You will... " He said, running his hand through his hair quickly, trying to get it out of his face, It was just about dry by now, and rather unruly.

She looked at him from where she was standing and couldn't help but smile. In less than twenty-four hours, there was already a noticeable difference in him. He seemed less tired, somehow more alive than he had been when she first met him.

"Do you feel it?" she asked. "Do you feel the difference inside you?"

Did he? That was a good question, one that he desperately wanted to know the answer too. He thought for a moment, then realized, something in him had in fact changed. He felt for more alive than he had before Rae had arrived, his tiredness had faded greatly, and his head, although it was still busy processnig thoughts of just a few moments ago, was perhaps in a way, clearer that it had been in a long while.

" Yes, now that you mention it... " He said, grinning at her from across the room. It was then that she herself came back over, sending the butterlies in his stomach for another round, and he loved every second of it. She went up behind him, resting her cheek on the top of his head, and nuzzling him for the second time.

"It's amazing, isn't it? How different you can feel in just one day. I imagine after our first proper session, you'll be walking with a bounce in our steps you haven't had in years."

" I look forward to it... " He stated, thinking of how it might be not to ache so terribly after every transformation, and most of all, to not be afraid of the full moon...

Rae moved around him in his chair and raised herself up to sit on the table in front of him, then reached out to take his hands in hers. They sat there for a moment in silence, while she thought about everything that was going on inside her and what might be going on inside him.

Her eyes traveled up his arms to his chest, his throat, and then his face. She didn't see the scars, all she saw was him. A man who had probably spent most of his life alone. A man who probably hadn't felt real love in years. A man who was just like her, in more ways than one.

"We should get together later this week sometime," she told him quietly. "Get started on your training."

She got up again and stood there in front of him with his hands still in hers.

"Just come find me when you're ready. And feel free to take your time. I know this is all a lot to take in."

He squeezed her hands, already thinking about going to see her in the future...the near furure that is.

" I will... " He said, feeling her hands slip out of his own. He stood up, pushing in the chair he had been sitting in. He looked at her, a grin playing on his lips, as he walked slowly out of the room, not even bothering to turn back and look at her again.

He headed out the door of Grimauld Place, thinking that he had some research to do.

The bright warm July sun was beating down on the contrete beneath him and he lifted his head to feel the effect the sun had on his pale skin. Sighing, he stood there for a moment, letting his skin bake for a few seconds, then, with a tiny pop, he was gone. 


	4. Lunch With a Friend

Remus shuffled himself through the door of Flourish and Blotts, carrying about twelve books in two rather heavy paper bags. Groaning quietly, he walked out onto the busy street that was Diagon Alley.

He had been searching for any book he could find on werewolves. It was true that he knew just about everything someone needed to know so that they could be safe every full moon, but since Rae hadarrived... He felt as if he needed to learn more. The books in his bags were ones that mainly focused on the needs of the wolf within the person, and how to meet those needs safely.

If he was lucky, there'd be something about the "Life partnership" Rae had mentioned earlier. He wanted to know everything, and though Rae was still working on telling him, the concrete information written in a book made him more comfortable. It always had.

There were witches and wizards bustling around noisily, talking to one another, smiling. It was strange that he had so many things going on in his life right now, that he couldn't remember the last time he had just walked around Diagon Alley, or any other place for that matter, not having to worry about anything.

Just then, his stomach gave a fairly large growl, and he changed his direction to the Leaky Cualdron.

Remus sat down at one of the wooden tables against a wall. The Leaky Cauldron was dim, with candles illuminating the small tables, and reflecting off of the bottles of butter beer and fire whiskey that were sitting innocently on the edges of tables. He was waiting for his bowl of soup and his large butter beer, deciding that it was a bit early for something as strong as fire whiskey, plus he'd never been a whiskey man himself, though he could be spotted drinking one on occasion.

He had just been about to pull out one of his many new books, when he saw someone climb into the seat across from him.

It was Harry, looking only slighty disgruntled, but well all the same. He didn't say anything at first, only grinned his welcome, and Remus wondered to what he owed this surprise.

" Harry, well this is a pleasant surprise. " He grinned, placing the book in his hand face-down on the table top.

" Hey Remus... " Harry muttered, looking a bit akward. Remus understood... it wasn't often that the two of them found themselves enjoying each other's company, and not being under any sort of stressful situation.

" How are you, I haven't seen you in a few days... " He mentioned, finding it odd that they were staying in the same house, yet hadn't run into each other once for quite a long period of time. He worried about Harry often, feeling a sort of paternal instinct when it came to him. It was hard to describe, but not difficult to understand.

Remus caught Harry glancing at his over turned book, but didn't mention anything. It wasn't that he would mind terribly much if Harry were to know that he was reading up on werewolves, it was just a bit... embarassing that he'd need too.

" I'm okay... I suppose. " Harry answered, looking away from Remus' reading material, apparently not finding it odd for his former professor to be carrying books around. It was clear that Remus had perhaps asked the wrong question, because given Harry's past, and everything that was inevitably going to happen -in quite possibly the near future -he was bound to be stressed.

" How about you? What's been going on recently? "

Remus was about to say he was fine, but stopped himself. The truth was that the events of the past few days had been swarming through his mind, and the only other person he had spoken them aloud with had been Rae, who just happened to be about fifty percent of all the swarming.

" I've been... a bit preoccupied with something. Are you sure you'd like to be bothered by the problems of an old man like me? " He asked, shifting in his seat.

Harry grinned softly, nodding, meeting Remus' gaze for moment.

" Of course, I mean... I'd like to know. " He said quitely, giving Remus the impression Harry did actually care what was going on with his father's best friend. It was a comfort that he still had that little part of James, something that was undeniably Prongs. " I still can't believe we practially live in the same house, and I have absolutely no idea what's been going on with you lately... " It was something that Harry had never told Remus, that he actually regretted not talking to him as much, and Remus couldn't say that he didn't feel the same way.

" Well, we both have our own seperate lives, no matter how close of a proximity they exist... although I do regret not including you into my own more. Assuming, of couse, that you want to be... " He said, looking at Harry expectantly. It had been many years that the two had known each other, and he still couldn't believe how much this boy resembled James, it was scary actually. If he didn't know any better he would have said that he was seventeen again, having a drink with his best friend, as they often had.

Tom came up to the table at that moment, carrying a platter that held a large bowl of steaming vegetable soup, placing it in front of Remus. After he recieved his butter beer, he looked back up at Harry.

" Are you hungry? " He asked, holding out an arm, stopping Tom from going away.

" Oh... I'll have the same thing. " Harry told Tom, watching as the aged man nodded, limping back to the counter. He turned back to Remus.

" I'll listen to anything that will take my mind off of my own problems... Plus, you sort of looked like you needed someone to... listen. " He told him, looking interested.

Had he? Perhaps Remus wasn't as good at masking his emotions as he thought he was, or maybe Harry was just incredibly sympathetic... Either way, the boy was right.

" It has to do with my being a werewolf... just to warn you. " He knew that Harry didn't mind much that he was what he was, but he also knew than there had been one occasion that this fact had actually put Harry and his friends in great danger, a fact that filled Remus with shame every time he thought about that night. He just wanted to be sure that Harry was alright with talking about things that had to do with it.

Apparently, it still didn't bother him, for Harry didn't say anything, only looked at Remus expectantly, interest shining in his emerald eyes - Lily's eyes. Remus was quiet for a second, thinking some things through for himself, before he started blurting things out.

" Remus... what is it? " Harry asked impatiently, his voice taking on a strikingly James-like tone.

Remus was again hit with how much he enjoyed seeing Harry, being able to talk to him, have him staying at Grimmauld Place, however often they actaully crossed paths.

" Just to let you know, I'm glad that you've choosen to stay at Grimmauld Place until school. " He added, placing his spoon back into its bowl. He opted instead for his bottle of butter beer.

Tom arrived back at their table, placing a bowl, and a steaming mug of butter beer in front of Harry. Mumbling a thanks, Harry grabbed for his drink, just as Tom turned to leave.

" Put it on my tab Tom. "Remus called after him, Tom turned his head, still walking to the counter.

" Aye, will do Remus... " He mumbled, smiling all the same, showing his yellowish teeth.

" You don't have to-- " Harry started, already reaching for his pocket, Remus shook his head, motioning to Harry's soup.

" Eat. " He told him, grinning as Harry seemed to give in, sighing as he pulled his hand from his pocket. Again, the boy looked at him expectantly, and Remus decided that he may be ready to say a few things that might make sense.

" It has to do Raeanne Cummings... have you met her? " He asked, knowing that since she had just arrived at the headquarters, along with the fact that Harry hadn't been very social lately, there was a chance that they hadn't run into each other quite yet.

" Not really, I think I've seen her though. " Harry said, looking as if he were trying to place a face with the name Remus had provided. Rae hadn't mentioned seeing Harry anywhere, although they hadn't talked about much else during their little meeting. " So... what's going on with her, why is she here? "

" Thats a good question, actually... " He answered, laughing. He really didn't know where to start with this whole Raeanne bussiness. The begining, he supposed, sounded like a good choice.

" Well, she arrived only a few days ago... " He started, eating another spoonful of the surprisingly good soup. " She's part of the Order now, Dumbledore sent her a letter... " How much should he tell Harry? He had no real problem with him knowing, but would Rae object to him telling their bussiness to a seventeen year old boy that she barely knew?

At the mention of Dumbledore's name, something about Harry grew darker, the interest in his face faultered for a moment, but, rather impressively, he gathered himself shortly afterwards. Remus pretended not to have noticed anything, he knew that Harry had shared something with Dumbledore, found shelter and safety from him, and now that he was gone, Remus had to admit that he too felt a little more lost than he'd like to.

" From the second she arrived, there was something about her... I don't know... It's hard to explain... " He said, and it wasn't a lie. The more he thought about how to describe the feeling he had first had when Raeanne had introduced herself, the more confused he got. How did you explain to someone, that you may be in love with a woman that you had just met, not to mention everything else that came along with the fact?

Harry looked back up, managing to catch his eye. Remus tried hard not to display the full extent of his emotions, but he could tell that Harry was catching on. He was a quick one, Potter, like his father, nothing got past him, he'd catch it eventually.

" You like her. " He stated, brightening up a bit, he took another sip from his mug.

" Is it that obvious? " He asked, shaking his head slightly. He didn't like the fact that he was so smitten over this woman that it was showing in his everyday activities. Yet, apparently it was.

" I do though, she's a lovely woman, but it's not as simple that... " He continued, thinking about this "life partner" thing that she had been so keen on telling him about. It seemed so extreme, yet very right, it was strange.

" Why not? " Harry asked, watching Remus from over his butter beer. " I mean, surely you've dated before, just tell her you're a... " He trailed off, looking at Remus in a way that made Remus slightly uncomfortable. " Wait... It shouldn't matter, unless... "

There it was again, Harry's uncanny ability to tell what Remus was thinking or implying. It was amusing, and Remus decided to just let Harry know that he was right, he was sure that Rae wouldn't mind him telling Harry anyway. She had been open about the fact in the first place.

" She's one as well. " He finished Harry's sentence, confirming it for him. He drank from his bottle again, almost finishing it. Harry was silent for a second, before smiling openly.

" Well, that's good isn't it? " He asked, obviously totally oblivious to the fact that werewolves couldn't have the same type of relationships that normal people did -or at least to an extent. Remus was stalling again, playing with a bit of carrot that had fallen out of his bowl.

" You can tell me. " He heard Harry say as helooked up from the table.

Another smile came to Remus's mouth, Harry obviously wanted to get that point across, that Remus could come to him, and tell him these types of things.

" I know. " He said, realizing that he now actually had to try and put all of his thoughts into actual, understandable sentences.

" I'm not saying that it's not a good thing, because it is. I'm incredibly attracted to her, and she's made it quite clear thats she's attracted to me. But... For werewolves, apparently, it has to be more than that. " He said, running a hand through his sandy brown hair. He saw Harry cock his head to the side, looking curious, but remaining silent.

" She mentioned something about an Ulfric and a Lupa, which are just fancy names for the male and female wolves in question. Anyway... They mate for life, and only seperate if one of them dies. " This was the first time he was actually speaking the thoughts of this nature out loud, and the more he said, the more he felt that he was working through them... slowly.

" Right... " Harry provided, looking thoughtful. Remus would have asked him whether these facts had been in past homework assignments, as he had heard that Severus had at one point given Remus' class werewolf essays to write, but chose to just get on with his thoughts.

" She... " He started, then looked down at his cooling soup. He smirked once, then brought his head back up. " She seems to think that we could be each other's life partners, that we are meant for each other. She said that our inner wolves were drawn towards one another. " This sounded crazy, he knew. That was the first thing he had initially thought when Rae had brought it up the first time. Now, it was a different story.

" I felt it though... " He thought out loud. " The first time I saw her. "

" Well... I don't have a lot of experience with anything of this sort, but... This sort of sounds like something that would just take some time, something you shouldn't rush into. " Harry said, finishing his own drink, and letting it hit the table with a thud.

" I know, and I don't plan to. " He said, pushing his bowl of cold soup to the side, so thet he could place his arms on the table in front of him. " I figure I'll give it a while, to see if what I'm feeling is genuine. But I don't want to wait too long. "

It was true, Remus had been somewhat "alone" for more of his life than he would like to admit. Sure he'd always had friends, best friends at that, but never someone who was romantically interested in him, not like Rae was. He had to admit that he liked having someone like that, and he didn't plan on losing it.

An image of Tonks made its way into his head, but he snuffed it out. That had been a mistake, something that should never have happened, something he should have been smart enough to not have let start in the first place.

" Would you like another drink? " He asked, motioning to Harry's emptying bottle.

Harry lifted his wrist to his face, looking at his watch, and Remus' mood dropped slightly as he saw Harry frown.

" I'm meeting with Ron and Hermione... " He said, sounding a little guilty. He shouldn't feel that way, because as much as it pained Remus to know that Harry hadn't been coming to him with things, he couldn't imagine how Ron and Hermione felt. He knew for a fact that they hadn't been spending as much of their time with each other as per usual, which used to be a rare occurance.

" Then you should go. " Remus said, nodding at Harry. " It's certainly been nice talking to you. "

" Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't talked more since... " Harry was now the one averting his attention. The two of them hadn't spoken much of Sirius since that night, and both were happy with it that way.

Remus stared off at a random place on the wall on the opposite side of the pub. He didn't usually like to think about Sirius... not that that stopped him from doing so. He missed him, to no extent. He had been all he had left, one of the only things that had kept Remus going those few months that things had been looking really bad for the wizarding world. And now he was gone, leaving Remus here to feel guilty and alone.

_But thats not true anymore..._ He said to himself. _You've got Rae now, and Harry's here, you have to look after him, for Sirius._ He nodded, then stopped, realizing that Harry had no clue as to why he was nodding.

" I know, and I'm sorry... " He said, bringing his bottle to his lips. " That's probably not what he would have wanted. " He finished, not saying Sirius' name, probably for the same reason Harry hadn't said it.

" No, he wouldn't. " Harry said briskly, finally turning back to Remus. He was starting to rise from his seat, and Remus followed him with his eyes. " I've really got to go... See you at the house? "

" Yes, see you there. "

" Bye. " Harry said, throwing Remus another smile, and a small wave, as he turned around.

" Good bye, Harry. " Remus called, watching the back of his jet black head make its way to the front door of the pub. Before the door even had a chance to fall shut, he saw Harry disapparate, leaving the entrance empty again.

Remus didn't stay much longer, and after leaving the Leaky Cauldron, he stepped out into the heat of the sun, walking for a while, looking through a few of the shop windows, his books hanging in a bag from his arm. After a while, when his arm became sore from the strap of the bag, and his bad leg began to protest against the walking, he found himself disapparating, the long street where Grimmauld Place sat, replacing Diagon Alley.


End file.
